Last week, my friend Haddie arrived for an afternoon visit. It was a mild (for Southern Connecticut) late autumn afternoon. We decided to step out onto the deck and enjoy a bit of sunshine.
As we chatted, I noticed one of the Bubble’s dumb white squirrels about 50 feet away. (I call it dumb because it waits until the dog is six inches away before running up the tree.) I pointed it out to Haddie. She had never before seen a white squirrel in person. We continued to shoot the breeze. After less than five minutes, we noticed something move to the tree adjacent to the deck. It was the white squirrel.
Haddie and I laughed a bit and made mildly aggressive gestures toward the squirrel figuring it would scurry away. It did not. Rather, it seemed encouraged by our movement and crawled closer.
This creature continued to approach us in a manner we soon deemed to be threatening. The curious and formerly cute squirrel was firmly in the no-longer-funny zone. At the corner of the deck, there was an empty planter leftover from summer habanero gardening that had about a half dozen wooden stakes leaning inside. I grabbed a stake and started banging it between the slats of the deck hoping to startle it away. No such luck.
The white rat got closer still. Haddie and I nervously giggled, but it was apparent that we would not be surprised if this thing launched itself at our faces. I threw the stake in my hand toward the squirrel. It made contact. Not a full clunking head hit, but it was definitely felt. What did the *&$% do? It came closer.
Haddie picked up a wooden stake and tossed it for a near hit. The squirrel got even closer to the deck, preparing to jump.
We promptly ran inside and closed the deck slider door.
Normally the wiener dog turns into a whirling dervish when a rat b*stard squirrel lands on her deck. For some reason, she never saw this exchange. I was too horror-struck by the fearlessness of this demonic rodent to even think about Phoebe.
Minutes after Haddie and I escaped to indoor safety, Damien the Satanic Rat jumped onto the deck and began to approach the glass slider we secured ourselves behind. He struck a pose in front of my grill.
By this time, I’ve started banging the glass with my forearm. The rodent was no more than two feet from the glass and he didn’t even flinch. He simply moved in for a close up.
After about 15 minutes, Damien appeared to have left. We stepped back outside to the deck looking left, right and, more importantly, above. Haddie and I were certain this thing would descend from a tree limb. Thankfully, the area seemed to be clear. Later, we did however see Damien sitting on a rock, staring in our direction. We got the message and retreated indoors. This thing was not to be messed with.
I’ve not seen the creeper since Haddie left on Thursday. Tomorrow, however, she is scheduled to come over and help decorate my place for the holidays and bake some cookies. I expect Damien, the Sequel.