A previous post briefly mentioned Bubble characters “Bucky & Blinky.” This post will examine (primarily) Bucky.
I first met Bucky in early 2002. During our initial conversation, Bucky informed me that she was 35 years old (objectively, I would have pegged her at 50); that she had a brain tumor, no healthcare insurance and, therefore, was going to die soon; that her husband (Blinky) was much older than her (at the time, I would have placed him about 60 years); and that she used to be a model (did I mention that Blinky is blind? Seriously, not a joke.) I should mention, too, that there’s an easy to figure reason she’s called Bucky (yes, cruel, I know…but I didn’t name her…or Blinky either.)
Over the next several years, we learned more. Although she has no visible means of support, she owns the condo they live in and regularly has home improvement jobs going on. They had the windows replaced (a $5,000+ job – I know because I had them replaced in my unit), hardwood floors installed, outdated bathrooms remodeled, and more.
Bucky used to make her husband go to the condo complex clubhouse to shower (she, herself, has wicked bad b.o.) On garbage days, Bucky and Blinky jump in the Buck-wagon and take a drive through the complex to pick through garbage that other residents have put out for collection. Their haul could include anything from soda and beer cans plucked from recycle bins (to redeem for the 5 cent deposit) to outdoor furniture that’s bad enough for someone to have placed out as trash to begin with.
After the dumpster dive cruise, she’d arrive home and haul the stuff into her condo. Inevitably, within a couple of months, many of those items would end up out at her curbside on trash collection days. Or, during the condo’s annual October tag sale at the clubhouse, Bucky would be there offering her trash haul for sale at her table. (Although one time I had placed a broken hose reel out at the curb on garbage collection day. Bucky promptly snatched it up and placed it behind a bush beside her condo unit. It sat there for 3 years. She didn’t own a hose. Occasionally, I’d pull it out from behind the bush, just to let her know that I knew she took it. She’d re-hide it. Finally, last year she bought a hose, attempted to wrap it around my discarded hose reel, discovered it was broken, then put it out in front of her curb the next trash day.)
Yesterday, the non-poop-scooping-recycle-bitch neighbor moved out.
No where near 210 boxes fit in this
After she left, there were several items left at the curb (not on garbage day, a clear condo rule violation!)
See the bit of blue? That's the towel that sat rotting on their deck for a year and it's draped over the bike that Ricky Retardo never rode and also sat on the deck to rust for a year
This made Bucky’s day.
Inspecting the merchandise
Another source of income for home improvements.
See the dog? Bucky rescued it (truly an admirable thing to do) a couple of years ago. She’s told us all that the dog only understands commands if spoken in a Native American language.
So, are you wondering if picking up crap like this could possibly fund basic living expenses, utilities AND five plus figure home improvements on an annual basis? Well, wonder no more.
Bucky once asked a dog walking neighbor if she happened to have noticed a stretch limo lost in the condo complex looking for her. Apparently the limo contained her cousin, Kevin Costner, and he’s the one who purchased the condo for her and funds her home improvement projects. If that’s the case, then why won’t Kevin fork over some cash for a dentist and, perhaps, a bottle of clairol haircolor? Or, more importantly, doctor and hospital expenses to take care of her brain tumor.
While we all laugh at her “delusions,” I can’t help but wonder if it’s true and she’s having the last laugh.